Martin McDonagh writer and director of the wonderful dark comed[y] In Bruges and...Frances McDormand

Gotta be honest here, there have been teen boys that I have wanted to kick in the crotch all through my many years of life on earth.

He seems completely unaffected by spicy things too, I think he might be an alien.

There’s something off about Dax. Like, he tries to be all cool and relaxed, but his eyes scream “CHEM TRAILS!!!”

I expected the Page 6 story to be longer but its brevity makes it feel extra credible, somehow.

it’s.......both...............

The Page Six story suggests you might be in the majority.

Its true, nobody wants to hear how happy anyone else is. All we wanna do is drink and watch “Schindlers List” while we listen to “Nine Inch Nails” forever.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are the undisputed champs of over-sharing. I know more about baby Luna than my own child.

Seconded! Besides, I’m lazy, and making someone else do most of the work appeals to me.

Now, I’m not saying she’s doing all this to make Anthony jealous, but how great would it be if she were?

i need full year vacation

You can’t add vodka to a juice box.

It’s the best! Some friends want to go out at 8 tonight, and I might do my other favorite adult activity, which is canceling at the last minute.

I can’t believe Getting an A was a 14 seed. You know what kind of people read Jez? Nerds. We didn’t just love getting A’s, we LIVED FOR IT.

Prediction: Going to Bed Hella Early is going to take it all.

Anyone who is appalled by the tone of this email is adorably inexperienced when it comes to receiving emails from the executive leadership down to middle management and below. The genre is always self-congratulatory and filled with ‘team wins’ that mean nothing to the recipients, but the execs feel like ‘sharing the…