the only valid concern is for karaoke purposes, that is all

Whoa now. I reserve the right to call anyone, regardless of sex, gender, race, or ethnicity; ‘man’.

I have like three racist bones in my body. I’m always complaining about them, but the rest of the bones won’t do anything about it. Two of them are real assholes and one of them is passive aggressive as shit. I don’t know, every time I think about yanking them out the other bones get all protective. Deep down, I…

“Last night I was ‘grossly generalistic,’ and that’s never a good idea. I regret saying ‘half’ — that was wrong.”

It’s not really a surprise to anyone, is it? This is pretty much the obvious destination of the path Newt Gingrich put the Republican Party on back in the 1990s, when he sold Republicans on the idea that governmental dysfunction could be used to “defeat” the Democrats and earn a permanent Republican majority. That…

Poll: Half of Republicans are morons assholes.

Morons? That’s being too nice.

No shit, right?

Half?

Poll: Half of Republicans are morons.

LMAO I could’ve told you that after the election

Ironically, it’ll be the populous blue cities that will be hit first. You know, the ones who didn’t vote for Trump. I suppose the conservative areas will follow eventually in radiation sickness or famine, so that’s okay. (Nothing’s okay.)

It means she farts in your general direction…

This is the real question that needs answered: When is it okay to check out of civilization? Like, when can I stop paying on my student loans? Adopt a dog? Quit my job? Is it when the first bomb drops? Or do I wait to see if there’s a second? Do we make a run on our local Walmart now or when everyone else is doing it?

I read that as being flatulent in French and thought “That’s one hell of a skill! How does one do that? Eat tons of foie gras?”

I’m going to have chocolate chip cookies for dinner!

I’m gonna get naked, slather myself up in barbecue sauce, and throw spoons at traffic! Whooo westcoast apocalypse party!

I’m just going to stop paying my bills now. Who cares? We’re all gonna die!

I wonder if Donald Trump knows that Guam is part of the United States, and that its people are American Citizens. You know, like, if they chose to move to California that wouldn’t make them immigrants.

He’s a textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People with this disorder have an incredibly fragile ego and require constant reassurances of their greatness. And *only* greatness will do. NPD people have poor impulse control, are unable to tell flattery from truth, and fly into rages (sometimes very…