No no no. Shade is like when you get a sunburn without direct exposure and a burn is like standing in the sun for 4 hours without sunblock with no protection whatsoever. Shade is nuanced, indirect, discreet. It can take hours to realize you've been burned. A burn is direct, unapologetic, and out in the open. You know…

The wax figures can’t hold a candle to the real thing.

Rita Ora is multitasking here. She is clearly thirsting for approval from Beyonce while at the same time asking “Who Wore it Better?” and praying that the universe’s answer will be “You did Rita Ora. You wore it better.”

Comparing Rihanna to Missy Elliot is like comparing strawberries to tomatoes. I will ask you why? You say because they’re both red and botanically, a tomato is a fruit. But it doesn’t make sense and I have never seen anyone trying to compare the two.

When you got bills due and you get your money

Right? Personally, I don’t think someone from all of the continents in Europe and all of the continents in Africa (all of them!) should have a place in this conversation.

So first, that picture of Raven is great. Because she looks like an ass.

“She looks totally different.”

Happy Birthday, my ass.

Team Dog agrees.

This is all I have to say about this fuckery:

I guess the answer to the Beyonce fake pregnancy rumors is that Blue Ivy was hatched, and is also a dragon.

Ugh. Of course he survived. Of course.

The injury was minor?

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.