St. Louis vs. Boston:

“This one’s goin’ back back back backbackbackbackback aaaaaaaaand.......Gonorrhea!”

Without batting gloves Vlad Jr. would probably hit somewhere between 2-47 homers a game and make his pops especially proud.

NICE, JEETS

Yeah, so you can ponder all day long about how ______ died because they were _______ by ______ in that one moment when _______ assured the audience that _______ wouldn’t ________ when he/she/they _______ went on and _______ anyways.

Boy, it sure would be nice if the Clintons and The Deep State didn’t have such nefarious control of the horse racing industry! Sad!

In true Wayne Rooney form, that ball got plugged into its right place by just a hair.

Of course! Then within 15 minutes of airing the finale, GRRM’s agent will publicly issue a statement saying that there are no plans to publish The Winds of Winter or A Dream of Spring until 2074.

Doesn’t help that Robles said after the match, “We all checked in with the guy. I guess that’s the price you pay when you sit in the front row, right?”

I’m a passive NHL fan here, but the Islanders could just move back there, right? What a silly situation. I know the capacity is low but they could bank on that. Also seems like a very spiffy place once again, after all the work.

I remember watching WWF/E as a kid, 20-ish years ago, and seeing Shane McMahon do falls like that, thinking ‘yeah, a guy like him should probably not be doing this.’ But I guess nothing’s changed since then.

Toasty!!!!

Lo Cain to the rescue.  Never gets old.

You’re out of touch!

What a Giant asshole

This would send the NBA Jam announcer into a “FROM DOWNTOWN!”/”WILD SHOT!!!”/”YESSSS!!”/”HE’S ON FIRE!” glitch.

“Will you Grit N Grind with me forever and ever, babe?”

Eli Manning: [Googles “Brown stuff”]

I’m sure his ratings will see a boost, because to his base Tucker was just “telling it like it is!”

On behalf of all old Gawker readers, I would like to say that “Bubba the Love Sponge” can be shot off from a missile into the sun. Tucker Carlson, too.