But with the Thing's bouldered hide, stripping and teaching them about rocks can be done at the same time.

It's like Nike of Samothrace all over again!

Yes, it's clearly his incomplete mastery of Geology 101 that got him into this mess.

Turns out he wasn't robbed and murdered by Sir Patrick Stewart at the previous olympics, either.

(Ryan Lochte tries spreading cassette tape on his toast.)

Just makes me think of Jeffrey Jones in Amadeus. "There are simply too many notes, that's all."

You know what they say about Big Fish…

No, her dark secret is that she's @avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus. Bernie is @CookieMonster and Trump is secretly @Lobsters.

Yeah, those guys were notoriously slow studies at calculus. Teddy Ballgame was an ace at linear algebra, though.

They're trying to convince us not to explore the web beyond this site, by tricking us into believing this is the best the rest of the internet has to offer.

No, Yahoo Serious

Not only could he crush it at "Tell a Joke Day", he's also poised to steal the role of Albert Einstein away from that Australian Guy.

Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, und von vas assaulted…peanut

No, just once. I assume Trump and his supporters will work equally hard to prevent election fraud regardless of who it's in favor of.

Should've cast Gene Simmons.

The scenes on film will be enhanced by a computer, in what the producers are calling photo-electric effects!

And why am I wearing the watermelons on my feet?

Wait wait, Casanova Frank-Einstein! That's the ticket!

You mean the guy who played Casanova Frankenstein?

I need my Milana Vayntrub fix! Those AT&T commercials aren't cutting it anymore, I'm jonesin' for the good stuff!