You recast Mon Mothma, I’m sure there’s a gaunt, skeleton looking guy somewhere out there. Jesus, this was so distracting.

One day, in the gaming world, we’ll have 2 guys doing this, and it’ll be okay.

Well, I mean they announced they were going to do it to An Overwatch Character. It would have been a lot more natural if they hadn’t stated their goal was to have a LGBT character in the story, then it could have just happened

Joseph Smith used this exact same strategy to start the entire Mormon religion.

Enough with the fucking tweet storms. If you have something lengthy to write, put it in a blog post or a Facebook post. Tweet storms are the vertical video of the written word.

Oh good the old bait and switch.

Orson Welles, especially a drunk Orson Welles.

I just realized what’s weird about the Alien movies; we’re supposed to accept that none of these adults have that crucial survival skill (take a step or twenty back) learned from having encountered Jack in the Boxes as children or watching horror movies.

Actually, I’m mocking the fact that she believes a ridiculous, far-out theory (aliens created humanity) based on the flimsiest possible evidence and supports it with nothing more than “That is what I choose to believe” when confronted with the conventional theory of evolution. This is apparently enough to justify a…

Gilbert Gottfried...especially “SMILEY HAND TOY FROM VENDING MACHINE, MOM NOTED A RUBBER HAND PROTRUDING FROM RECTUM”

• 10 BROKEN CRAYONS

David Attenborough

Brian Blessed, in all his exuberance

Question for the author and audience alike: if you could pick one person, living or dead, to read these aloud, who would it be?

Shouldn’t the investigation have been done before sending a ship full of potential colonists to a planet they’re not sure will be a match?

“PUT A PENCIL UP RECTUM TO MAKE BOWEL MOVEMENT TO GET GAUZE PATIENT SWALLOWED TO COME OUT”

“SMILEY HAND TOY FROM VENDING MACHINE, MOM NOTED A RUBBER HAND PROTRUDING FROM RECTUM”

WINE CORK WRAPPED IN PAPER TOWELS, ELECTRICAL TAPE & A CONDOM

She probably stabbed herself in the face with a pair of scissors because she chose to believe they were a burrito.

Well the new trailer shows some of that and it has a certain “Alien vs Predator missed the fucking point of not one, but two franchises” vibe... which is to say it looked like garbage. It’s saddening since, you know, Ridley Scott decides to keep pushing these films for no reason other than he gets paid to. At least I…