Jeremy Renner is the guar gum of actors. I’m not entirely sure what he/it does - he/it is some kind of filler or binding agent or something? but he/it is in seemingly everything and producers think he/it is somehow an essential ingredient, but no one wants to consume him/it on its own. 

My wife doesn’t find most of the things I show her to be funny, but she sure did laugh at that. Those Jeep commercials broke her, she wants to see Jeremy Renner crash and burn now. Frankly, I kinda do too and the man has done absolutely nothing to deserve such spite, except follow his dreams. But I’ll be god damned if…

The fact there are earnest users of the Jeremy Renner app is the real story of this post. 

Just when I start to think I have a decent handle on the world, I find out there’s not only a Jeremy Renner app, but also, apparently, an audience for it.

I legit loved “I Forgot You Existed” for its sheer pettiness and nailing *exactly* how I’ve felt about a few exes (both romantic and platonic that went badly.) Maybe not the best music/singing, but the lyrics hit right into the sweet spot of relatable. And “All my enemies started out friends,” ooof, same.

I’m publicly misogynist when it comes to this specific woman, so fuck you if you complain about my upsettingly vehement hatred THAT FUCKING WOMAN

I remain surprised that nobody aside from me (and you!) enjoyed “I did something bad.” It is *so much freaking fun* to sing, and it’s just the right amount of pettiness murder for my last few break ups. Really, why don’t people like it? I’m convinced if somebody aside from Swift had released it, people would love it.

To quote myself, a great writer, “the hotter take might be: Lover is lit!!!” (But still not quite as good as Reputation, her best fucking work to date. Period. “I did something bad” is so fucking murderous, glorious. Meanwhile, all you sad fuckers with that “All Too Well” bullshit)

To be fair, the person who said that also said this: “Megan Reynolds: I went into the album as an avowed Swift-hater, out of principle rather than anything else.” Some real flimsy justification up in here.  

I think people picture Rep as vindictive and unearned, which is so weird to me when it’s PRIMARILY love/loss songs. And the “petty” parts? They’re all a very understandable, if  a bit cynical, reaction to the constant, grating criticism she has to slog through. I read this roundtable discussion thing and seriously…

I can’t understand why Jezebel staff would act like they didn’t understand why TS wrote The Man. She hasn’t been shy about saying how much harder she has to try to get farther. They’re literally feeding into exactly why she wrote that song.

I can never understand the level of vitriol this magazine directs towards Taylor Swift- it is as if you people go into writing every single article about her trying to seem unbiased, but your passive aggression towards her is so evident in your coverage of her that I can’t even take it seriously anymore. I honestly…

Wow. I’m shocked that the Jezebel Staff didn’t like something Taylor Swift did. 

Yeah, someone please direct me to the part where they described something as “charming” like the title claims, ‘cause I guessed I missed it. I’m not a T.S. fan but this was just a hit piece.

Yeah, this was...a REMARKABLY bad take. The Me Too movement isn’t “criticism.” By that logic, men are criticized for, uh, sexual assault and physical abuse. Women are criticized for...being successful and not being humble about it. Or being beautiful and not feeling bad about it. Or being “childish” when they’re 29. Le…

Hoo boy, Rich really got triggered over The Man and the presumption that rich, successful women might still receive more blowback and criticism than men in similar positions. “The Biebs gets criticized too!” is not a hill to die on.

Rich: I’m not really of the opinion that famous people are entitled to more fame and money. I don’t really know if Taylor Swift should have a clothing line or hedge fund in her name? There’s some assumption in this song that men aren’t criticized. Quite the contrary, especially in a MeToo era! I don’t think Justin…

Yikes! Why bother discussing the album at all if the plan was to start out snarky and make certain to couch every compliment in disdain?

Holy hell, this was a realllllllly long way to just say “we don’t like Taylor Swift that much as a person, the album was fine, 6/10.”

Are they even friends anymore? It seems like they are doing the Paris Hilton Nicole Richie thing where they pretend to be friends because it’s easier than constantly having to explain why they aren’t anymore.