I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR MONTHS! Praise be. I’m so excited. The annual Halloween stories collection is, hands-down, the very best thing that Jezebel does.

Not scary at all but an update for those of you who remember my story from last year about our friendly ghost named Seymour:

Just commenting to say I love the username.

You’re referring to when Sanders told Clinton to stop shouting about gun control?

I’m beginning to detest bernie sanders fans. He’s a nice guy but the constant “What would Bernie do” lust is annoying.

I like the logo. I think it's smart, clean and simple. If it were much flashier or complicated, we would be making fun of her for that.

Where do you live that has insulated you against the fact that, no, the vast majority of American voters do NOT agree with Bernie on the issues. I certainly do but christ, you “feel the Bern” loonies remind me of Ron Paul supporters.

I don’t believe for one second that Hilary does not get hers.

That boy is a Sinatra. Nobody can tell me ANY different.

In the UK we had 2 mass shootings in the late 80s and 90s- Hungerford and Dunblane. The latter was particularly awful because it was at a primary school. As a result, the Conservative government and subsequently Labour passed gun laws banning handguns and tightening up regulations for gun ownership in England,…

The problem is guns. Not mental illness, not misogyny, not male entitlement. Those are other problems, with other solutions. The problem causing mass shootings is guns.

Honestly, if we did, which we won’t, we’d be discussing Cheney, Bush, Bush Jr, and so on. As they all did things with emails that were ... interesting. But, we’re not talking about them, are we? See, that’s kind of interesting all in itself. Why aren’t we? I’ll tell you why. It wasn’t breaking the law. Everyone did…

Put another way, this is only a scandal as long as we pretend to care about it. This is only allowed bc of the slow news cycle that’s inevitable at the end of the summer.

YAWN.

Yes!

“I don’t believe you change hearts,” Mrs. Clinton says, summarizing her basic view of social policy movements. “I believe you change laws, you change allocation of resources, you change the way systems operate.”

Those remarks are the most insightful I have seen from any candidate currently running for president.…

So here she is actively asking to listen, rather than dictate from a place of white privilege, and still THAT’s not good enough?

Hilary Clinton Decoder: Guys, I tried to fucking solve healthcare 20 years ago, but nobody gave a shit and hated me more for trying to solve it. It was only when I started speaking out about human rights in other countries that people gave a shit because thinking about solving shit in our own country is too difficult…

When I watched the video, uncut without commentary, I interpreted her part of the dialogue as “I’m listening to your community’s suggestions as to what to do about our obvious race problem, because I don’t want to be the privileged one dictating to the oppressed group, so please give me your suggestions because I’m…