Y’all, this is a dumb post, it’s beneath you to be trying to make up drama between these two women based on this thin evidence.

That is marvelous. I have been staring at it for 7 minutes. I'm trying to find a way to put it on the inside of my eyelids so I can see it when I blink.

That was the best collection of words in this article, and it was a hard fought battle. Sheer freaking genius.

You, Sir, have nailed the depiction of fast-food ordering shame in modern Internet journalism, much like Hemingway mastered the post-WWI masculine experience. I commend you.