I’m a 38B, the B part is easy. The 38 part? Not so much. Every goddamn cute bra ever comes in every size except that one because “it’s not common”. And then the store clerk (who has teeny tiny perky bralette boobs that I envy) confesses that they get a lot of complaints/requests regarding that very size. So, I guess…

When I worked at HMV we had a regular who bought scads of music on a weekly basis and we worried about him when he didn’t make it in because of his health issues. We were lucky though, he called in, explained how poorly he was doing because of his symptoms and had us put aside several hundred dollars worth of music.

I…

You can’t just be flaunting your dirty pillows on TV! Think of the children! /sarcasm

I think I love you. Thank you for these. I’ll be in my bunk.

Fuck no. I love my husband, but 10 days straight of each others company and having to kiss for most of that? Bleah. I’d kill him if he didn’t kill me first.

I wish I could star this more than once. :D I’ll settle for telling it to everyone I know and giving you all the credit.

• wallet

And let’s not forget the “shit spackle” cleanses - gotta get that stuff out!

I would like to assist in the library - maybe lead a bookclub? It’s either that or I am opening a liquor store.

Breathe Right strips are the reason my husband and I haven’t smothered or stabbed one another. We are both huge fans of these (and uninterrupted sleep).

That’s the scene I always think of when people bring their babies into the bar. “Wow. Look at you...you have a baby...in a bar...”

“...this one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere!”

Jesus christ - who gives a flying fuck if she went out without her baby? BFD. This is a gift I routinely offer any of my friends when they have kids (along with a nice gift for said kid): if you need five minutes to yourself or a lunch out so you can keep up with how adult conversations work and remember that feeling…

And Dr. Oz.

My parents named me after 1) some girl my dad knew when he was a teenager, 2) from a book, 3) after hearing my name on the radio (this story changes a lot). My sister was named after a character in a horror film.

I vote for simply picking two words at random from the dictionary and making them sound namey. For example:…

I use a sun umbrella too - I burn so goddamn easily, and I break out like a mofo with sunscreen on my face. I also wear super dorky hats to keep the sun off.

I also wear UV protective clothing in the summer and stay indoors usually between 1 and 4 in the afternoon. Maybe I’m paranoid, but cancer runs in the family on…

“Bear in mind, I don’t believe that he was warned that that question was coming,” Carson told Erin Burnett. “And I don’t think he really had a chance to really think about it.”

Fuck these rapists “once-promising future”. Who even gives a shit about them? I don’t necessarily wish them dead, but I sure don’t care about their possible sports careers going down the toilet. Small price to pay for maybe ruining the rest of your victims life.

Just my experience here, so not to be taken as a blanket statement for all women, but in my case the assault was at the hands of a boyfriend with whom I’d had consensual sex before.

Same. I busied myself making silly pictures with the onion inside onion rings (and eating the crunchy coating), listening to music, doodling pictures and giggling. I never had any desire to hurt anything or anyone while on LSD.

Exactly. And to put all your houses in order, and arrange the books just so (or am I alone in my determination to collect all the books in Skyrim?).