Because if you don't have meat on the table to distract them from all the other "but you have to" things that you gleefully (and rightly!) ignored, you will be eaten in the bathroom at your venue by rabid, "If you had just done what we told you to do" monsters that look suspiciously like your family members and new…

These customers are all insane. All of 'em - totally batshit crazy.

What an asshole. And the shit-eating grin on his face says that he knows just how offensive and disgusting that shirt is.

Yeah, definitely don’t be a dick to the person driving the cab you’re in. Be respectful, tip decently, etc.

If the two women in the cab had been making out/fucking/cursing belligerently/vomiting etc., the cabbie would have been right to request that they stop (the insults he used were totally out of line), but it was a peck on the lips - no big deal. I don’t argue that a cab is the cab drivers workplace - it is. But if I’d…

I had the same problem with Dove "soap" - I smelled worse after I used it. I'd put on deodorant and it wouldn't work. Now I know why: Dove's grease bar was keeping the deodorant off my skin and creating a the perfect conditions for sweat and grease to come together in my armpits and everywhere else.

You would think so, but no. And that year, the VP got caught making out with a girl from filing in the coat room like a horny 17 year old boy - and said VPs drop-dead gorgeous wife was sitting alone at a table looking miserable.

This! I was SUCH a pain in my own ass - if I could go back and tell 17 year old me to stop making things worse than they are and to give the drama a rest I would.

I quit my position on the Social Committee too - I worked for a insurance company that flatly refused to consider not having an open bar at the Christmas party. I had suggested it because the year before several colleagues of mine were over-served alcohol and puked on themselves at the venue, and one man - a very…

#6 made me smile. My wedding photos were also the first pictures I'd seen of myself where I thought I looked great in them.

I wish I'd thought of cupcakes for mine - we had a flat marble cake (vanilla and chocolate) made by my ex MIL's church ladies. It was incredible, but cupcakes would have saved people time standing politely in line to get cakey things into the mouth part of their faces.

For my first wedding we saved money by:

I worked at the British High Commission for awhile, and my male colleagues were generally pretty nice, but the people calling in for advice on visas and immigration questions....guh. So many times I’d be asked to get a male colleague on the phone so the caller could “double check” to be sure I’d told him the right…

So, this is basically the clueless politician’s version of “alligators in the sewers” and “the man with a hook for a hand in Lover’s Lane”?

My BFF/ex-roomie found this out the hard way. She opened a cupboard under the sink to get something and Finn (4 mos old, new to the apt.) ran in to the cupboard and jumped straight into the hole in the back of the cupboard and into the walls.

No sausage and no dipping sauce! Missed opportunities.

So long as they are grass fed boneless blobs, yes. I am sure they are happily oozing across the meadow...

I find this .gif mesmerizing and oddly soothing.

I think Mystique should sue this jerkface - obviously blue was HER thing first.

You could do what my friend’s mother did: warn everyone that the garage/basement/family room/whole damn house etc. needs a good going through. Give everyone two weeks to sort through the stuff they have and decide what to keep or what goes to charity/dump. If they don’t decide for themselves, you will decide for them.