*Sees disabled homeless veteran on side of the road begging for spare change*

“Fuck you, I work hard for my money”

*Sees pile of Canadian garbage with Smiley Face drawn on it*

“Can people, out of the charity of their heart, help the least of us along our path in life?”

Lighten up Francis.

I’m confused. Are you saying disagreeing about the merits of a hitchhiking robot is akin to the minimization of rape culture?

On the plus side with Texan readers, none of you give a shit when we mock the crap out of your state, because your superiority complex is so massive you can just laugh it off—this is far preferable to people from Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, or St. Louis, who, deep-down, know their hometown is shit and so must freak the…

Philadelphia, City of Brotherly WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT

No, it was stupid because it was stupid.

While I agree with the general whimsy and wonder of hitchbot, it does provide us with an even better summation of Philly than throwing snowballs at santa — a funny little robot had hitchhiked half the Earth, but once it got to Philly, it was immediately destroyed for no reason by a drunken Eagles fan. This my friends,…

SET SARCASM DETECTORS TO “IMPERVIOUS”

Canada’s so cute when she gets mad

HitchBOT has become self aware and completely humorless. If it weren’t so poorly constructed I would be terrified!

C’mon man, don’t write “@sses,” kids could be reading this.

This is the same kind of mentality behind Millennial ego semen that’s been infecting our culture for a decade now. Getting the shit beat out of your vanity is called becoming an adult.

“The day the United States has need for a malingering robo-hobo with no skills that sits next to the road like a bag of shit”

- “the United States is not a receptacle for twee Canadian garbage”

I didn’t expect to get my favorite article of the week so early, but there we are.

Great. More Gawker-related hobophobia.

Canadians made hitchBOT, which is to say that they crudely assembled a broadly anthropomorphic heap of refuse and left it someplace for strangers to take care of for them.

THIS. The only way this story could’ve been more insufferable is if somebody made a “500 Days of HitchBOT” series out of it.

I never would have guessed that Burneko owned a Cunningham Jersey.