A lot of good that would do you while rotting away in prison. There's quite a few people in China who would find your thinking deplorable.

Then you don't deserve the freedoms you have.

Stay in school.

Stay in school.

nice to know that google is constantly scanning my emails. I feel so safe now

As a Jew, I'd like to apologize for not dying in sufficient enough quantity to warrant defending ourselves.

He is a great coach and you are a stupid troll.

Yea... if this is the best Featured Workspaces has to offer it might be time to put a bullet in this once-cherished series. It used to be about showcasing workspaces that had some sort of productive or organizational advantage(s); lately it's been focused on the decor, which is highly subjective and in the realm of…

maybe so, but if they stopped me on the street, I would have had to answer honestly that I met my husband through match.com back in March of 2000. We've been married for 12 years.

you completely failed to follow his speech, you instead decided to fill it with your own insecurities, touch was clearly (by the context of the whole friggin speech) meaning in a mistreated way, and he was clearly trying to explain that it makes him angry, it makes him want to hit somebody but he uses his higher…

This is just life, right? Did you really get screwed over or did you just not create enough value to be who you wanted to be?

No, sweetie, making and supporting lame humor on the Internet is! Now shoo. All further responses from you will be tagged if they're not funny. Have a lovely week!

If you have evidence of Samer Kalaf actually doing something worthwhile with his life, get at us at tips@deadspin.com.

Slow news day.

Comedy is hard.

You don't call yourself a journalist, do you?

Drew Magary: Professional Contrarian

No. We're not.

Being funny simply isn't your thing. You need to face that fact right now.

I'm not sure you know what the word "amazing" means.