Grow up. Seriously. Do you actually have friends in real life?

Everybody has a story, but most of us aren't so insecure that we feel that we have to share it here.

So you were a bro, or just an asshole?

Samer has a useless talent!

He does, which means it sounds like he's not smart enough to judge other people's resumes.

Comedy is hard.

Joke's on you. Your joke isn't funny.

You can just smell the irony here, can't you?

Shut up.

You obviously know what the campus police should be doing, so why don't you enlighten us... or is it easier just to write snark?

Arden reportedly made a really stupid joke that was also in very poor taste. Be proud, white trash.

Shut up, you hyperbolic hack.

Berman only gets one night, yet we have to see your drivel here almost every day.

I saw this interview and I don't know which one you were watching. He didn't take Rice's side at all. Greg Howard is a lazy, hack old writer.

What does this have to do with Ray Rice? Did they say something, or are you just trying to be funny, like the morons on Fox & Friends?

No jokes? Are you finally learning how to write like a big boy?

"Grown-up" is not a word I imagine gets used a lot when talking about Deadspin writers.

Don't worry, a Deadspin reporter never lets the truth get in the way of a snarky post.

Because Deadspin never makes typos... or reports hoaxes as truths. Do you actually get paid for this?

Did you even bother to listen to his interview with the sideline reporter afterwards? Do you care to update your story, or are satisfied with posting comments about something you know nothing about? A Deadspin writer calling someone childish is like... oh just forget about it. You guys are absolutely the worst.