we’ve all bottomed out.

She and Jaclyn Smith were maybe my earliest “omg goals” -- and tbh they kind of still are? Both still gorgeous, and (miraculously, considering) neither one has gone the absolutely Tragic Egregiously Overdone Plastic Surgery route. 

I feel like this series is a missed opportunity for a few really gonzo SNS columns? I mean, I’ve got lots of cardboard (incl paper towel/tp tubes) and markers and glitter just sitting around here...

I have some questions about that demon in the header image. Like, a lot of questions.

Oh my god this sounds way more fun than my “analytical and creative yet nurturing” bullshit, can I come skank around with you guys? I’ve got loads of trashy clothes and I’ll bring all my glitter to share (I have literally like 300+ kinds of glitter). Also we have good bourbon and gin and a smoke gun for cocktails.

I don’t believe in horoscopes either because it’s obviously ridiculous, but every single person I encounter who’s Into That Sort Of Thing (presumably/hopefully for entertainment value) who talks to me for more than three minutes is like, “I bet you’re a virgo.” Yes, and apparently I am VERY MUCH a virgo.

Silicone microwave popcorn bowl. Dump in half a cup of kernels, 2-3 tsp olive oil, ultrafine salt or Flavacol, stir well, zap 2 minutes, done. Bowl is easy to clean and collapses flat (we let ours live on top of the microwave, in the small gap between unit and cabinet above it), and we’ve used it on all kiiiiinds of…

Oh god I’m braced for impact. D: And I’m gonna start really pushing the walking/jogging for as long as I can, before it gets even harder. At least when my knee isn’t doing a weird thing, or when my hip joints aren’t out of whack, or ...

I HAVE to try a quinoa one! Or maybe make my own quinoa-chocolates? That stuff has such a nice subtle crunchiness (that lasts even in soups!) that I’m imagining would be super pleasing in candy format.

Every week is a new round of “wtf is THIS? Is there something seriously wrong with me or is this more hormonal fuckery?” :/

I haven’t tried it either, but a google image viewing is showing me packages of various flavors / varieties which include MARZIPAN and CORNFLAKE and ALMOND-QUINOA and holy shit or “ach mein gott” or whatever.

Yeah, for me, Trazodone was like taking nothing at all! My previous experiences with weed were mostly smoking, and while I was never really into it, it just made me loopy and giggly, never anything bad like paranoia or anxiety. I’ve only tried one type of CBD gummies, and I don’t think they did anything at all? Valeria…

This is suuuuper real. I always thought menopause = hot flashes and maybe the occasional mood swing? HA HA HA OMG NOPE. So far I’ve had flare-ups of : heart-racing anxiety/panic, depression, extreme sadness, manic hilarity [all of the preceding occur without any obvious triggers, or even any discernible relationship…

BF takes Wellbutrin and has really good results with it but ONLY with the actual brand-name drug — he’s also had one or two different varieties of generic, with noticeably bad results. (Apparently this is A Thing -- the FDA even pulled one generic off the market due to so many reports of problems.) So if you want to…

That is a legitimately tragic dress. It is both fug and poorly-fitted and awkwardly constructed, like thirst-trap music video “swimsuit” that is only actually functional for carefully posing on a lounge chair in your clear heels with a fancy cocktail and could never actually go in the water. All it’s missing is some…

I would 100% read a “Torch Gone Wild” Jalopnik vertical.

I wasn’t familiar with the CBC logo(s) so I looked it up and MAN they’ve had some good ones! The 1940 version is fantastically epic, typical of the era (I’m a sucker for 1930s-40s corporate/industrial design motifs), but I’m really digging that 1974-86 kaleidoscope deal. I totally get the desire to “streamline” and…

It’s so nice! Clean, versatile, clever-but-not-fussy graphic, not hyper trendy. Yay! FOR ONCE.

I am PICKYYYY about my sheets, and I’ve done a fair bit of sewing and upholstery, so that’s the only reason I know anything at all — because I made myself learn about what I like and what I don’t (and even then it’s no guarantee! knowing I prefer a sateen weave to percale for sheets doesn’t mean that THOSE “sateen…

See, this makes perfect sense, and they should clearly hire you to run the watery-tart-themed ad campaign.