I am interested in this content. But I am NOT interested in this bullshit slideshow format. Especially since half the reason I’m here is the comments, and you can’t even GET to the comments (or get back to them to read replies) without tapping through every fucking slide. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. 

I’d eat dry spoonfuls of Yuban instant* before I’d buy a fucking Keurig/Nespresso.

I’d eat dry spoonfuls of Yuban instant* before I’d buy a fucking Keurig/Nespresso.

Okay, BUT ... I was in junior high when that song came out, and I actually liked it. And while it’s not an enduring favorite that’s stood the test of time in my playlist alongside The Police and Bowie and Duran Duran, I still kinda like it. So that would make it non-torturous for me, but also it makes me have a hard…

Oooooh, Ss-ss-sudio is def a contender. Anything from Kenny G. “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” Macarena. We could do this all day.

I may or may not have been influenced by the Knob Goblins in Kingdom of Loathing...

Oh god that sounds INSUFFERABLE. 

Fuck Nespresso, fuck Keurig, fuck anything else that uses those god-fucking-forsaken ecological-disaster plastic pods. If you want to shell out three hundred bucks for ~fancy coffee equipment~, buy a goddamned burr grinder, fresh-roasted beans that’ll be 10,000 times better than that plastic-wrapped bullshit, and a…

Fuck Nespresso, fuck Keurig, fuck anything else that uses those god-fucking-forsaken ecological-disaster plastic…

Oh my god “a combination banjo/hip-hop group” -- this is like my worst nightmare. :(

“Didn’t know how to say something?” This is WAY past calling for politeness and delicacy. “How to” would be to pound on the fucking wall and yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCKING COCKGOBLINS, OR I WILL CALL THE FUCKING POLICE.” Repeat as needed. If that doesn’t work, put in some ear plugs, duct tape your…

Oh man, this is my primary dessert-kvetch as well. WHY SO SUGAR? YOU CAN’T TASTE ANYTHING ELSE. The main offender is ice cream, which is also maybe the most challenging to make yourself at home. (We have a cuisinart ice cream maker, but my few fumbling experiments haven’t yielded the proper ultra-smooth texture. I…

Nice! We don’t have any whole wheat flour on hand, so I’ve been subbing out half a cup or so of my flour (out of 1.5 cups total) for ground-up (in a food processor) oatmeal. Olive oil instead of butter, a little under half a cup of sugar, lots of fresh grated ginger ... it’s about as guiltless as something so yum can…

I mean, I would assume all the members of a witchcraft-based-bioweapons gang are unhinged. Do you have industry contacts? See if Villeneuve’s got anything scheduled after Dune I/II.

Can we combine these concepts into a screenplay about a group of evil ball-smashing feminist hags who develop a secret highly contagious black-magic-based bioweapon that will kill all men? We can call it “Coven 19.” I’m available to co-write.

Oh, was it? Welp, “NAILED IT,” I guess...

I’d rather have the Cracker Jacks this POS came in. 

The *real* new circle of hell is this bullshit slideshow format.

Toothy Mouth Candle is making me proud to be a member of the Etsy community. Are we sure “knickknackstoreCA” isn’t actually David Cronenberg with a new hobby now that film production is shut down?

PUNK’S NOT DEAD <3

What’s your competition? Ask your realtor which similar properties are getting more looks, more traffic, more interest. Check those listings to see where yours falls short — if all the “hot” listings have white kitchens and yours has old wood cabinets, or they all have wide-plank hardwood floors and you’ve got carpet,…

There is appx zero chance they didn’t both go “ahhhh ha ha ha OMG GENITAL FISSURE, like when you tear down there while giving birth, omg we have to, we can change it later.” I wouldn’t believe that was an “oops” coming from some random boring person; from a professional funny* person it’s simply not possible.