I like Cam Newton. I do not like Cam Newton at 20 million dollars a year. Now if they can get him an O-Line, that team could contend.

Was trying to locate a gif of Red from Pineapple Express where he’s embarrased about passing out during breakfast even though he got shot a handful of times the night before. No dice, please except this:

My parents told me a couple hours ago that they want to have a combination graduation party for my sister and me, because she’s graduating from college next week, and I graduated from college two years ago, but never had a party because I decided not to go back home that summer. Like, on the one hand, I guess it make…

I’m four years older than my sister and her birthday is the day before mine. When we were kids, my parents usually had one party and told me that I was older and I would understand. I didn’t, and I still don’t. Although I’d say that’s probably the reason I don’t make a big deal of my birthday to this day.

OSHA may be a pain in the ass, but most of those people would be alive if they were in a civilized country.

Complete bratty tangent: I hate it when my mother or spouse gives me a gift in public and then says “this is for (insert next typical gift-giving occasion here).” I’m not greedy for gifts, but it pisses me off when I’m told “this relieves me of getting you another gift this year!” somehow in public. I’m not an ass.…

Oh I have the best story about a wedding proposal...

Yeah, “it’s squirt guns and water balloons”...until YOU get hit in the face with one. I daresay (and correct me if I’m wrong, but) you wouldn’t just laugh it off, nor would you laugh it off if your wife or g/f got nailed. In the face, with a water balloon, that is.

/\ please give this more stars, people.

On the other hand: “DO NOT MOVE OR I WILL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ARM” <—this officer needs to relax. It’s squirt guns and water balloons.

Cyclists and cops - two groups that often think they are above the law and are loved only by their own kind.

I don’t know a lot about head injuries but it seems like the general common sense thing to do would have been to have Steph sit out the rest of the game. It seems like it would be MORE important to increase the chances of him being healthy for a possible Game 5 than to possibly exacerbate his symptoms by having him…

I’ll be the bad guy. I fucking hate “superfans.” It’s more about them than the game and after about 5 minutes shut the fuck up already.

sorry max it looks like imperator is at another castle!

I WANT TO BE THE NUX TO ALL YOU PEOPLE’S LADY MOTORCYCLE GANG

New Black, Regular Black, White people, Brown people...why can’t we just be people. I can’t wait for the future where every person is essentially a Gooback. This race thing is just so stupid.

That was all code for — We Can’t Manage or Plan for Shit, so quite often we have raging fires which must be put out at all hours of the day (weekends too) so we might need your sorry ass here at a moment’s notice, and you can’t be an hour away, especially if you use public transit, which has rush and non-rush skeds,…

J. J. Redick is one of the more likeable players in this series. J. J. Redick.

“Hold me back man! Hold me back!”