I am genuinely uncomfortable with the world’s most expensive show being indirectly funded at the expense of bathroom breaks and workplace safety. I don’t give a shit how good it is. If people were unhappy when someone was killed on the set of what was surely going to be a mediocre Alec Baldwin movie, you’d hope they…

Just because our 3000 years ago ancestors didn't know about DNA doesn't mean they didn't know how to "engineer" heartier crops or breed specific traits in animals.  It just took them much much longer than today.

Putting aside the obvious real-world logistics Tolkien’s elves can look like an older human depending on their circumstances. When Gwindor was finally freed from years of being Morgoth’s slave he looked like an old mortal man. Grief can age elves as well, as in Thingol’s case. On the other hand, Aragorn met Arwen when…

We developed complex systems of agricultural genetic engineering, livestock husbandry, etc. There is absolutely a path forward where we knew more about genetics than we did, say, zippers.

Also, again, you’re just thrusting your own ideas on how things should go in these things. I’m not un-sympathetic - I hate seeing…

if I’ve learned one thing about mothers in law from the internet , it’s that they get stuck in washing machines a lot

I understand logistically why they need to cast younger actors for the elves that are in later movies,  but I'm not sure how that jibes with the eternal lives that elves have. 

Yep. Still not fucking with Amazon.

You’re talking to a dude who consciously cosplays as an insufferable pedant. I don't know that "it's fantasy" is going to wash with that type.

Weird that Hobbits have ‘brandy’ in their names even before they settled in Arnor after the drowning of Beleriand. I always liked how Tolkien explained that the Brandywine river’s name came from a Hobbit corruption of the name Baranduin that Elendil’s people had given it.

I’ve only played the third game, but it’s handled much better there: they’re just a bunch of potions they inject into boys and they don’t really know how they work. 

So I guess that synopsis box is just PR copy from Amazon? Weird how it just trails off like that.

The part where Sauron said “The truth?!!! You can’t handle the truth!!!”, is the best line in streaming series.

No Amazon fan, but I’d bet my hard earned paycheck they likely had their mind made up way before seeing it

My parents were big Tolkien heads.

They used to follow the Fellowship around the country on tour, selling cheese and lembas sandwiches in the parking lots and bootlegging tapes of the Song of Durin.

I really like how when you could take a shot at movies with shotty CGI where it feels like the actors are staring at tennis balls you decided to skip the obvious and apropos choice of The Hobbit, Desolation of Smaug, and Battle of the Five Armies and instead went with generalized Marvel take.

Part of me wants to seek out that review, even though I know I’d probably regret it.

That rings true.

If the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien teach anything, it’s that the road goes ever on and on.

So go tour with Goat Boy and be done with it.