"And for a little magic, I shall make this jug disappear!"

It smells wonderful.

*giant foot squashes Trump*

When I read "proud video game racist", I just assumed it was some awful YouTube personality.

A Talk of Ice and Fire

I admit, that would be easier to Google.

At least it has its hunting hobby.

It's possible she could use her next concert tour to rally for a new amendment.

There has to be a better place online to play Bridge than Amazon reviews.

She's going to carry this streak all the way to her 2028 presidential run.

Let's see, we've got soda, purple stuff… Ooh, Sunny D!

My favorite part had to be the section about newsreader segues and tone shifts.

"Anyway, that's ethnic cleansing for you. Now ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?"

15:1941, last time I checked.

"Your tag team partner lays on its back, his torso drenched in sweat, beating his legs trying to free himself from a figure-four leglock, but he can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

♪ And it's there I read on a hillside gravestone
"You will never leave Arby's alive." ♪

How on Earth did you get so jaded?

Which one is cool, but rude?

Of course that was just a celebrity tweet, which is not legally binding, unless Proposition 304 passes. And we all pray it will.

They just all fall drunkenly into the river one night and wash up on shore in Delaware with no idea what strange, mystical land they've wandered into.

"I'll get the shovel."