Apparently, Muslims never suffer from mental health issues. When we do something bad, it’s entirely of our own volition. When a white person does something bad, it’s a defect in that otherwise pristine, gorgeous brain of theirs.

Drew hasn’t figured out yet that he was giving out handjobs under false duress.

In a hangar at Andrews AFB:

And ... you just gave the poor guy another burn.

a 27-year-old guy in Vero Beach who was hospitalized with second- and third-degree burns

I also love this contradiction:

They should legalize “giving the quarterback the business”.

Propane guy: here you go.

This is what’s so incredibly pathetic about NFL owners as a group, is that they would make an unconscionable amount of money — generational money, every single year — even if they never sold a single ticket, never sold a single jersey. And the reality is that they would still fill seats, still sell plenty of other…

Most Toronto teams are best appreciated in the offseason.

Led Zeppelin “Fore!”

I just wanted to get on top of his toes.

Just before the final out, my 95 year old grampa, veteran of two wars, cancer survivor, and long-suffering cubs fan, pulled me aside and, with a tear forming in his steel grey eyes, said, “The blacks ruined this neighborhood and your sister dresses like a whore.” This was for him.

Every time I almost feel sorry for Indians fans I see pictures like that one woman gingerly clutching her Chief Wahoo board and then I’m just so happy they lost. Fuck them.

That man looks cold.. We should get him a blanket

Dak feels like he could take on the entire Empire himself!

Not even Gordon can get high enough to catch those overthrows.