Now this is what I came to see in the comments! The cocaine puns have all been bad-unfunny so far. But then as everyone zigs, BAM! you zag.

My middle school had a legit lockdown over a weapon recently, and still didn’t think my students were mature enough to understand the importance of this day. They also put on a fake meeting with students and staff to ask opinions about what they should do, and immediately after the meeting, despite overwhelming…

Had to correct your comment by saying Hackenberg was recruited and signed by O’Brien. When he left after his freshman season, Franklin didn’t know what to do with him and he regressed badly.

Well, she’s at a Nets game, so...

You mean face Conan from the Year 2000

Thank you! This is a great way to start my Saturday. Can you say that the Eagles cheated too? Please? I need it! Inject the hypocrisy straight into my veins!!!

Better than being the best quarterback to drop a wide-open pass in the Super Bowl.

That is quite the piss someone took on your corn flakes this morning.

If I show your weasel screenname to my kids (6 and 4) without saying anything, they would immediately start booing. Knowing there are salty Muts fans rooting against us will make winning just a little sweeter for me. I’m actually shocked you said anything since Mut fans only talk trash when they are (rarely) winning.

Wow, you’re right! I’ve never heard of 30 other salty fanbases wishing both teams could lose. Never! This must mean the teams and their fans are the WORST and not that people wish their own team were playing.

This simulation is my dream.

You sound like fun, no matter what party you’re at.

I love how Giants fans hate Philly fans soooo much more than Eagles fans hate the NY fans. I actually rooted for doffus Eli to beat the Pats both times. Your fanbase is pretty much like ours (care way too much. but intelligent about the game), minus the ability for you to admit it. Don’t lean into the lazy “obnoxious…

According to that tweet, they actually ARE the Knicks now.

Taking off completely would be worse. He needs to be completely by himself in a gym, for as long as it takes to remember that muscle memory and mindset. No coaches, trainers, specialists, friends, etc. Just being alone will allow him to try every type of shot, arm slot, follow-through, etc without a single person…

The fuck are you rambling on about?

Thankfully, those days are gone. You can’t chaperone a field trip, help coach a team, build a new wing of a school, or pick up trash at a daycare center without you state and FBI clearances. Well, it’s like that in PA, but hopefully it is that way across the nation.

I’m usually the anti-Philly sports fan, being reserved and thoughtful instead of reactive and hyperbolic, but I find myself almost bursting at the seams to be a WIP meat head and start screaming Eagles chants and lead strangers in Fly Eagles Fly. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten my hopes up.... so I look…

Now you’re deliberately being obtuse. Everyone can see he initially clarified his original point without any suggestion of sympathy or forgiveness for Nassar or his atrocities. But instead of just showing some acknowledgement of this, you plod on with these borderline trollish, “Yeah, I don’t know about that, trying…

I LOVE baseball, but it is a dying sport without big changes like this. I missed most of the 2017 playoffs because I couldn’t stand how fucking long each game was. This is an issue worth fighting for, and they know the players can’t afford to strike over non-money issues. I’m actually proud that MLB is not going to…