It’s almost as if he was raised thinking you could get away with murder...

Waiter, there’s a pube in my soup. Actually, it’s a lot of pubes. I’m not sure there’s actually any soup in here. Did you just bring me a bowl of pubes?! I don’t care if it’s the “house special!”

To me, nude dining means sticking my dick in a Hot Pocket, so this is definitely a step up.

Probably the hospital.

“This is Philly, this is not somewhere else in the NHL....Have some class.”

It’s Always Scummy In Philadelphia

+1,000,000,000

I love that the Flyers basically spent the last half of the third period on the PK because they are a garbage team supported by garbage fans. That major penalty->fight->throwing shit on the ice->delay of game penalty sequence was just high comedy at its finest, especially when it led directly to two power play goals…

Future Hot Take: “Beer overpriced, nowhere to be found late in game”

I just can’t see him being an every day starter. Managers are more likely to turn to him late, after they get through the bottom of the fifth.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

Neat little fact: the “crosse” in “lacrosse” means the stick itself. In other words, lacrosse is French (or bastardized French-Canadian) for “the lacrosse stick.”

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Amazing shot, amazing story. Maybe this will get more white kids to play golf.

He was actually reacting to the vendors shutting down beer sales at the 10 minute mark.

Fucking hypocrite getting plenty of support from the big banks, I see.

That’s more of a stunner than an RKO.

Let us be clear about something: put these two teams together and you — for all intents and purposes — have Philadelphia sports fans.

You can tell he’s a true Bills fan because he’s so comfortable working from behind.

I’m a Pats fan, gotten to see SIX FUCKING SUPER BOWLS, and I’ll still bitch about officiating and all that shit.