No need to feel terrible. I've only been doing this a few months; I'll be the first to admit I've got a ways to go before I can reach O'Neal levels of snark. I'm not even allowed to touch the special glass case he keeps the Big Red No in!

I can live with that. Sean sets a high bar.

Well, sure, it all ended up being a fake-out, but I didn't need to take the article too far off-topic to explain all that. I did always think it was oddly handled. It happened off-camera, so we just get Jack saying, "Oh, by the way, sweetie, I killed Mom over the weekend. Are you still coming by for dinner on…

Wow, yeah. Weird Australian animals, and extinct megafauna are both fascinating, so combine the two and I'm hooked. New Zealand had a (now-extinct) bird called the Moa, that wasn't just flightless, it was wingless. One of the only animals ever with only two limbs. Can't imagine why it went extinct!

I think it was done often enough that it's not considered unusual. Yay, basic human decency!

I knew this week's was a reader suggestion, and I couldn't remember who! So sorry for not giving you credit. I've seen WonderWaffe in the past, and didn't think to add it to my 4,390,829-entry list of future Wormholes. But it's certainly on there now. I was especially fascinated by Die Glöcke, a giant bell that filled…

No. But that's not a conspiracy, they're just horribly mismanaged and got lucky when they hired Bill Polian as GM. The Sabres losing the Stanley Cup to Dallas on a bullshit call in overtime, however, was clearly a conspiracy.

Yeah, things that actually happened aren't conspiracy theories, they're conspiracies. Which is why there's so much stuff on Clinton and Obama on here, but not Watergate or Iran-Contra.

Alex Trebek insisted that we refrain from using ethnic slurs, and I have to respect that. I do have one on the docket about animal sex, though. That's still kosher. Look for that one in the next few weeks.

It actually was cancelled because of low page hits, but Josh was kind enough to give the feature another shot. We're hoping the redesign will make the more visible than it was in the old Great Job, Internet scroll bar. Glad people are happy to see it come back!

I've heard "leaving it all out on the field" used as commending a team for doing their best, but also as an apologetic, "well, we did our best."

Unusual Deaths is on my list. Now that we've resumed our 4,379,080-week run, I'll certainly get to it within the first half million weeks.

Yes. Yes we can.

Damn. I screwed that up. Not the first time, either. Anyway, I agree with your assessment. You know what would be good, though? Actual layer cake. I may just skip this movie and eat some cake.

It's based on a near-suicide the director witnessed. It was mentioned in the "previously reported" link. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I actually was an oboist in high school. Let me tell you, it was just wall-to-wall sex and drugs, all the time. And by "all of the time," I mean "none of the time." And by "none of the time," I mean "even less than that". So I'm suspicious about the accuracy of this memoir.

Interesting side note: Blair Tindell was briefly married to Bill Nye the Science Guy in 2006. The marriage license was declared invalid after just seven weeks, Nye eventually got a restraining order against Tindell, which she later violated. I'm sure Amazon has high hopes for this classical music thing, but I feel…

I always liked Walter Bishop's sweet tooth as a running thing on Fringe (hence the icon). I stop short of saying running joke, because the writers manage to give what starts as comic relief emotional underpinings. In the flash-forward episode ("The Day We Died"), the way Peter leaves his father a handful of Red Vines,…

Confusing me with O'Neal is high praise indeed!

I did consider using "argle-bargle," but I try to reserve that phrase strictly for articles about Benedict Cumberbatch.