Above the urinals at Progressive Field they have ads for pills that help make a curved penis straighter. I don’t know why but it seems relevant to the conversation at hand.
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That John Madden is a heckuva ball coach! He’s like a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a Turducken! Who knows what that guy’s thinking...all I know is it’s probably right and it’s probably going to lead to higher cholesterol!
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Simpsons did it.
Helping my best friend go through cancer treatment right now - started in the breast, she delayed chemo because she was also pregnant and after her son was born the cancer spread to her lungs and liver. In supporting her through the worst ordeal imaginable she ordered me to bring it with jokes because in the 16 years…
Fuck cancer.
A tipster at the World Series sent us the following photo of a man operating in the men’s room with maximum mobility…
Looks like someone has had a few buttons pushed. She is awful.
Its like someone sat a bowl of shit and a bowl of vomit in front of me. Then put a gun to my head and told me to choose which to eat.
Something else that really pisses me off right now, is I didn’t get a say in Trump. The caucus situation has to change. I may not agree with many of you but it is HORSE SHIT, that I didn’t get to vote for my nominee. Because it was decided before they got to Colorado. That is simply garbage. Would our states out…
My problem with this election is I think Hillary and the Donald both are really bad people. I feel like Hillary won’t ruin this country and it means something to her. But she is an awful individual. I swear she would slit a puppy’s throat for an extra vote. The problem is Trump would slit two for an extra dollar and…
You, sir, deserve many, many stars.
Politics as usual as far as I see it. Let the morons downstream deal with it.
Also I would like to point out Or Her are highlighted in the picture above. That also sums it up pretty well.
That headline pretty much sums up the entire election cycle. Replace DNC with America and storm drain with ears.
This election year is already full of shit. At least they didn’t dump it on a boat full of people, like the Dave Matthews Band tour bus.
If only these Menendez brothers knew how deadly they could be in the shotgun
Originally published as "Lips Gets Smacked" in the January 1993 issue of Philadelphia Magazine and later…