miketheburrito
miketheburrito
miketheburrito
The Last of the Iron Lungs

Martha Lillard spends half of every day with her body encapsulated in a half-century old machine that forces her to

I know the logic of this, but for me it’s so often the last place you could look.

I always make it a point to keep looking after I find something. Just because people always say “it’s in the last place you look” and I want to prove them wrong.

Boy, those Trumpanzees sure are fragile little snowflakes, aren’t they?

Sounds like somebody’s reading emails from his producers about advertiser defections!

Someone tell Trump that Obama used to love showing people how much pain he could take by repeatedly hitting his balls with a hammer. Obama’s record was 12 shots in a row.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

This needs to appear higher on the comment list. Nothing says “bang me” like the reminder there will be food afterwords.

Welcome to Ban Week, in which Splinter writers build a case for burning it all down.

I’m sure there are good people on both sides of these hate crimes.

Welcome to Ban Week, in which Splinter writers will build a case for burning it all down.

At least it would draw the eyes away from that vest.