Wait, what? Tell us more about the socks growing into the feet!

Purple beds are filled with that white chalky shit that is terrible for your lungs right? 

24 hrs?! Weak... My record is 4 days. Those don’t count the nights when we had to deal with midnight feedings, colic, or sickness. Around 36 hrs are when the shakes become a genuine issue for me. Thankfully, after considerable effort to “reset” my circadian system, I average about 5-6hrs a night.

Also known as college.

Sounds like you’re ready for medical school.

Yea. I’m friends with a got that went through what I’ll call a rough patch. When he was arrested, he’d been awake and in the in the cab of a combined picking corn for 7 days straight and had been on meth for several days before he started picking corn and was finally headed home. He said he remembers walking up in the…

what was worse was when my daughter was born, i was up 72 hours waiting for my wife to go into the final round, and was seeing bunny rabbits hopping through the halls.

I used to work at home doing data entry for non-profit organizations, I’d put movies on , brew coffee, work 48 hours straight, stopping for bathroom and to answer the door for pizza, then crash a full day, and enjoy the rest of my week.

The password is diabetis.

Oh my God I didn't even catch that and had to go back and re-read it in the Stefon voice.

Once I went from Denver to St. Louis in one shot. I had a bunch of edibles before I left and spent the entire trip doing impressions of Bill Clinton and didn’t even realize it when I got to St. Louis. I had no idea how I got there so quickly.

The Purple Boys have helped me say “Nah” to the Sunday Scaries with their ideal sleep solutions and zonk strategies.

I’ve stayed up for 48 hours at a stretch on more than one occasion. At about hour 36 I start hearing music, despite being the only person on the floor at 2am on Sunday morning.

The appeal of shows like this and The Big Bang Theory baffles me. Utterly, completely baffles me. 

I have no idea, it’s just the big bang theory, why is that misogynist garbage still on? Does Chuck Lorre have black mail material on everyone?

Who ever sincerely thought that Two and a Half Men* was a funny show? How the hell did it get so popular? Don’t people know that there’s Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon available with MUCH BETTER content?

Oprah & Jamie Lee Curtis 2020! 

She didn’t respond nearly as well to my Activia story. And I had photos.

“entirely unnecessary, topless scene in the latter”