Just another example of The Man trying to keep me down. I suppose this is why they hang up on me every time an Adam Sandler movie comes out.

I think authorities discourage calling 911 to report that you like a movie other people don’t like

Actually it is you, my friend, with whom a thing is wrong.

“That was fugazi,” Johnson said.

*the hot popular girl in my high school bumps into me in the hallway before shooting me a derisive sneer and going to make out with her football player boyfriend*

I am assuming he wanted to write an article on an actual hockey game.

Fun as heaven, you mean! Heaven is the fun place—hell is the place where bad guys go. Be a good guy and go to heaven—that’s what I say. It’s fun there. They have like one of those Golden Corral chocolate fountains and you can watch as much TV as you want and nobody makes you clean your room there.

Honest question - do you think LeBron regrets going back to Cleveland? I feel like it’s the sports equivalent of getting back together with your longtime girlfriend from high school because “it’s the right thing to do”

Still don’t know what started this. Still don’t ever want this to end.

Your head. The joke went over it.

WHOOSH

Because they have the most insufferable players and fans in the game. “How could you not want to be part of this tradition of moral superiority?!?!”

Accusations of racial slurs aside, why are STL fans giving Heyward shit? He’s not a hometown kid, and he was with the team for one season. Why do they think they own him?

Typical Deadspin, always sticking up for Cardinals fans, or as they call them around here “the greatest fans in baseball”. I’m sick of the pro-Cardinal bias of this place!

That Bartolo Colon screensaver is kind of cute.

man, they turned Colon blue again?

Actually it was just MLB testing its new mapping software by demonstrating the circuitous route that Herrera took to get to the ball.

I was wondering when we’d see Pablo Sandoval on TV again.

You kind of lost that one in the sun....

Except that he’s on the Indians...