And then he went on to say, “Buenas tardes” to Rep. Grijalva, “Ciao ciao” to Rep. Napolitano, “Woof!” to Rep. Labrador, “’sup?” to Rep McEachin, “Auf Wiedersehen” to Rep. Radewagen, and just shrugged in Rep. Gohmert’s direction.

Whenever Trump talks about trade deficits with other nations he is highly likely ONLY talking about goods out of his ass.

Well, maybe if you had put a little more effort into winning the Revolutionary War, this wouldn’t have happened, old chap.

Ron Howard’s voice: It wasn’t.

I don’t know, I saw a BMW with working turn signals the other day.

Tillerson speaks out against Russia in the poisoning of the British spy. Tillerson is out of the job 24 hours later. And the new chief diplomat of the United States is the former chief spy of the United States.

I want her and Sarah Palin to have a televised spelling bee.

If you say so...

What the fuck does global warming have to do with this?

Definitely would have made Patrick Henry reconsider his ultimatum.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

Did you see the video? He did instantly age 55 years to become a 95 year old man in an instant. It’s amazing.

Does Lesley Stahl have to choke a B....!?

I would absolutely watch a Wide World of Sports that was just Darren Rovell attempting basic motor skills.

Cross draw?

There once was a racist from Nantucket
Who couldn’t get anyone to suck it
He said with a sob as he finished the job
“My junk is so small, I’ll just tuck it.”

I mean, he has a point. This site is pretty much half promotional ads trying to sell me shit. Trying to paint the AV Club as some bastion of anti commercialism is pretty disingenuous at best.

Maybe he didn’t hire the guard. Maybe the guard is there to keep him in.

He can’t be sure which one will be the good guy with a gun.

One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of the creepy men do creepy things when you aren’t with another man, like it’s some weird dominance thing. If you’re just you, then you’re a woman so he’s obviously better, but if you’re with a man, he then thinks maybe you’re his property (gag) and doesn’t want to infringe on…