I can't understand why Seale didn't go to the doctor after being bitten 19 times, but, to be fair, he subscribed to the theory that you're never going to survive unless you get a little crazy.

"Must have been a helluva door he walked into."

I haven't been disgusted by monkey head since a drunken Dian Fossey made a ribald remark about Jane Goodall at an Audubon Society dinner.

The model number of those shot glasses? Type 1.

Meanwhile, if max levels are reached on the Golan-O-Meter, Mossad suggests Syria better watch itself.

Joe Morgan has repeatedly decried any kind of pi-throwing in baseball.

We'll always have that stupid helmet.

Anyway, there's no real substitute for the human hand

I guess there aren't many women of Hope's calibre in that gentleman's home country of Mypos.

You think that's weird? You should see what they found in Invader #1's shower.

"You don't quit the tour because of a thick lip."

Unfortunately for Ben, in this case, "DTF" stands for "Doomed to Fail."

This is a text that includes the line "His first thought was a train of cars had waltzed across his face."

That's really good.

Jose Canseco is wondering what mistrial is doing on Saturday night.

+1

Redacted. Not sure why only two comments loaded.

According to BuckeyeGrove.com, Kalis is the No. 1 player in Ohio.

i worked with her and im not gonna blow up her spot like that for crumbs.

Still, Stacy Koon's swings-to-BACKs ratio remains uncontested.