I have a single-mother foundation

...with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses.

I always let him know that it's his night. Let's get it, let's go out there with a clear mind and forget all the other stuff going on and just stay focused on the task. That ring. Tonight, I told him it was his night. And it was his night tonight.

We're sad to report that a fraction of the young man's youth may have died with that D word.

While everybody's wondering whether or not President Bush will get hit by the foul, they're ignoring the real mystery: Who punctured the man on the right's sternum with a barber's pole?

"He just told me just because he was the Deputy President doesn't mean he won't jump on top of me," the accuser said. "Zuma and his wives got a good chuckle out of that one."

It was that youthful exuberance that eventually became the Thunder's downfall.

I felt bad for her. She looked fabulous but it was such a violation. I mean, I've had moments in my apartment in New York when the blinds were up for one brief second and you think, "Ugh!" but that's nothing compared to what happened to her. Nothing.

First the Souper Crackers closes down and now this. Ron Donald can't catch a break.

In your face. I mean, off one leg, off two legs — he might have three legs tonight, the way he's shooting.

"I give a fuck about the money! I know how much fucking money I'm losing. It's my fucking money! I know how much fuck­ing money I'm fucking losing! I give a fuck! I give a fuck! Fuck you!"

Don't know him personally, but I know people who do and they're more than devastated. They say he was a first-class gentleman. RIP Boogeyman.

The Brand has made inroads into the far corners of American culture.

The made-up stories were from the May issue. The actual excerpts will appear in the June issue.

He scored a hat trick in another game, went on the piss

His .218 average wasn't particularly justifying his employment, either.

And it's one of those things, too, where you can't really do much more in terms of safety precautions. That's just the nature of the sport.

Kirkus Reviews thought Unsafe at Any Speed was "phenome-Nader".

When you compare and contrast, the Rooneys definitely know what they're doing when it comes to football.

Evening, DUAN: