I haven't seen this many hilarious misses on a soccer pitch since 1992's Ladybugs.

Tournaments are, in a perfect world, the best way to crown the best. But it doesn't work that way.

Tommie Smith to John Carlos: "We're the two best Black Power Saluters at the 1968 Olympics."

I'm not saying Jeff Bagwell was gassing, but if he were any more Buff, Rick Steiner would've broken his neck.

£30 million? Why, that's barely one-and-half Joleon Lescotts.

Simon was nearby - also, likely intoxicated - and may have been spooked by the sudden gunfire.

When reached for comment on the attack on the man in purple, the alleged attacker only said, "Robble, robble."

We're spending this day rooting around in nothing but SHIT.

@UpstateUnderdog: What's upsetting is that they weren't always. Prior to Fergie joining up with them, they actually made some decent music. They just decided to forgo quality and credibility for a shit ton of money.

...because of a possibly misguided attempt to close loopholes.

The last fifteen plus years have had members of our group experience a broken leg, near divorce, explosive diarrhea in a low class strip joint and one of my friends vomiting so hard that he blew all the blood vessels in his eyeballs.

But the strategic alignment of those Jets in sweats, toes on the line, at attention, definitely suggests a hint of choreography.

In lieu of buses, the fans came via screen-door submarine.

Chappaquiddick Island once had a Teddy drop, too.

There hasn't been a defense this shaky and bloated since F. Lee Bailey died.

Get rid of the shorts and that's the strangest Mapplethorpe I've ever seen.

"Negative, confused" also aptly describes all of the women currently in litigation with Roberto Alomar.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: +1

"I'm not really sure what was going on with him, but it's coach, y'all should be used to that."

Gash has entitled his photo, "James Brady".