I'd like to gentrify her Williamsburg.

It's the grossest good luck charm ever.

"Your sales numbers are pathetic. What are you doing all day, jacking off in the men's room?"

"Make Lewd Double Entendres About Steve Phillips" is the best game to play with Bobby Valentine.

@David Hume: OG! magazine is reporting that Eazy-E's penchant for blue Crip women expressly led to his premature demise.

At one point, a lady in a sexy dress climbed onto the roof of a truck, denting it badly, and did what I can only assume was an unlicensed fire dance.

Reilly also mentioned how great it was to see all the revellers gathered around Trevi Fountain outside of Trafalgar Square.

Whitlock's 8-page retort is going to be a sauce-stained doozy.

Yikes. The last time a guy named Michael stuck his neck out like this, INXS had to find a new singer.

"Fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."

Fred Ward is spending his Super Bowl week as a competent character actor in a number of films you've seen, but whose name escapes you.

Howard Hesseman: "Head of the Class was the best sitcom I ever starred in".

@ClintonPortishead: Outstanding.

There's something to be said for skinny-but-amply-breasted black-haired chicks with pouty lips and engaged nipples visible through their tank top.

Look at This Fucking Tipster.

...fails to place the blame even partially on the shoulders of No. 4

I haven't seen a Terry cut off at the knees like this since the Marathon of Hope began in 1980.

Attending this looks like the worst decision a Philadelphia resident made since Paul Heyman let Erik Kulas wrestle New Jack.

(if you don't count January)

...thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy.