Mark, she's clearly saying fuckin' hell. You need to let this fuck your mouth thing go.

"Christianity…is the ideology that built this country"

This is like ten helpings of "what the fuck?", sprinkled on a three-year-old gingerbread house you found stuffed behind the headboard in your evangelist grandmother's guest room while trying to hide from your drunken uncle's third encore of "Silver Bells."

Hey Kirk, you really shouldn't be alienating all us Jews and Muslims and Hindus and other non-Christmas-celebrators out there with this "war on Christmas" stuff. Know why? Because we're the ones who have your back and are constantly reminding people that Christmas is about Christ. Casual Christian person: "Why don't…

Okay, new rule, you are only allowed to receive presents on Christmas if you agree to be crucified on Easter.

Is the frog on the cat or is the cat under the frog?

We are all made of stars.

"This gift is too long."

I don't find this embarrassing. I find the ads they do abroad *after fame* for extra cash embarrassing.

I look away like a submissive dog that doesn't want to make eye contact.

Probably my face.

You're totally right; the way in which he has turned down most of his sponsorship opportunities, canceled the reality documentary after negative feedback, performed well in the preseason, and given one interview since being drafted by the Rams (in which he talked about how performing well in the preseason gave him…

Mark Shrayber Jezebel: the best Jezebel? Discuss.

Oh my God, that is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.

Hell, I'd never shower with the guy. Or, for that matter, any other guy. Or girl. Hell no. That's just not how I roll. And I'm damn sure not about to shower in an open locker room. Hello, what about privacy? Who are these people who are showering in front of all these other people? Not me, that's who. Everyone rubbing…

Nothing funny to say, just want to remind everyone that ESPN is the worst.

If it counts as a Jason Statham movie simply by virtue of having Jason Statham in it then the answer is obviously Snatch. That movie made me a fan of the guy long before I even found out he was capable of kicking a metric ton of ass.