You millennials, always stuck on the latest new things.

Like I been to a lot of parties where the beers were in the fridge. Helping yourself isn’t crazy. Going through tupperware is crazy.

“He died like he lived: drifting aimlessly wherever the current took him.”

Never mind Fultz. How did he get better seats than Nelson Mandela?

I guess they weren’t generic enough for you, indie kid.

My opinion was forever altered in their favor after they allowed this to be their official music video for Hopeless Wanderer- perhaps the greatest video the internet has ever blessed us with

They really fucked it up this time, didn’t they my dear?

It aint about brains son, its about HEART

Hell, if you still have an Xbox 360 just run it for a few minutes and it’ll start the fire!

Cathy is baptist garbage and they donated 2 million of the profits they made from the store to anti gay groups through the Winshape foundation.

After handling a 3 year old all day, your energy for grandstanding about protesting fast food protests is rather diminished.

One slight error in the story. The location it happened, RM 2222 at the 5600 block of Mount Bonnell Road, is in west Austin, not east. That it happened there doesn’t surprise me. It’s a fun road to drive because of the turns on it but it’s also very dangerous because of the ups and down and turns. I HATE pulling out…

Who sells old consoles? You leave them in a closet for years until you forget you own them.

I dunno, thinking about your mom’s hands usually helps me

A “shelled” pistachio means it has the shell removed. In yet another inexplicable quirk of the English language, to “shell”, verb, means to remove the shell from a nut, seed or pod. So perhaps his girlfriend assumed the shell had already been removed if he was referring to them as “shelled pistachio”?

I give the edge to historical figures being the most famous. How many people are going to remember somebody like Cher or even Michael Jackson in 200 years?

My top 5: Jesus Christ The Pope (any Pope)

Melt Man! With the power to... melt.

I loved Prometheus and Bob, haven’t thought about it in years.