I get it, man. Waiting on lab results is a harrowing experience. 

Jesus Christ. +1

Always makes me think of this

Oh fuck this shitgibbon in the neck. Hes the bully who runs up the score because he caaaaan. Hes the fucktard at the bar smelling of way too much Joop! And ordering $400 glasses of whisky he knows jack and shit about, only regurgitated facts about mashbills and Japanese Oak. He cant smile with his teeth because…

Thanks for this. When I left the house this morning, I noticed the magnolia tree in our front yard was in full bloom and took a moment to appreciate its beauty. After reading this, I remembered that the real focus should be on all of those stupid flower petals which I will have to clean up over the coming weeks. Life…

His trademark offbeat diffidence makes Jesus’ sermons sound weirdly passive-aggressive

Ok fine maybe ONE deep cut

That’s what I mean when I use the term, at least.

Obviously the Wendy’s guy.

I really enjoy the idea of anyone getting worked up over either guy’s catalogue. 

Guess what HASN’T increased since “your day”?

Minimum wage.  

This is a baffling fucking comment.

This is the Chris Davis of takes. At one point people thought it was good, and in certain contexts it was great, but it just keeps getting trotted out there whether it makes sense or not.

Oh shit, has the Archer backlash started?  I can never keep up.

Funny enough, they put this one up in the home team clubhouse at Comerica in advance of opening day:

Band name: Mike Trout and the Mendozas 

There was a time not too long ago when fellow Nats fans and I tried to make the argument that Bryce Harper was better than Trout. Boy does that seem foolish now.

My love life in one pic.

Meghan, stay out of this. We’re talking about you, not to you.

I shuddered reading this.