In real life, the phrase “all I know” is a figure of speech, but I’m willing to believe that someone online has literally only ever seen Anne Hathaway on some ancient webseries. 

I’m not sure showing more of their relationship would change much - the audience is supposed to struggle along with Stewart’s character to decide when enough is enough. Having the relationship a little more grounded might make the ending less of a swing, but it’s also a Christmas movie. The success of their engagement…

Bustin' makes me feel... Nothing. 

Once people are discussing movies on the internet, there’s about a 50% chance that they’re racist trolls. It’s a catch 22, since in real life people are less likely to have a vociferously hateful opinion of movies, but they’re also less likely to have any opinion or interest. I’m 99% sure that most of the people I see…

I remember being so intrigued by that Saturn game at Funcoland. I’ll have to look up a long play video. Hopefully it’s as terrible and bizarre as the fistfighting adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula for Sega CD.

Good for kids? Yeah, more or less. The political subtext has aged pretty well, the episodes are paced very quickly, and the show assumes viewers are smart enough to enjoy the character dynamics.

It kind of goes halfway - he’s sweet and charming with the good characters and sadistic with the evil ones. And in the end he goes to heaven to be with his girlfriend. It's an action movie - it doesn't have to be morally complicated. But again, if you're going to rejigger the premise, moral complication is more…

Remakes kind of trade on nostalgia for the original, but I’m not sure there’s actually nostalgia for The Crow. It wasn’t a blockbuster, and I suspect many people who got really into the original movie are still really into the original movie.

Unless we’re judging entirely by the amount of William Hurt, the difference in quality between Dark City and The Crow is not as wide as you seem to believe.

Personally, I would like to see a version of the story that questions whether you can actually express love through violence. If you’re going to tweak the material, you might as well ask the obvious question of why the magical crow turns sad men into sadistic rage machines.

I think it’s her cheeks. Hollywood tends to promote actors with high, angular cheekbones, but every so often someone enters the spotlight with slightly round cheeks, and people lose their minds. I remember when Michelle Williams debuted on Dawson’s Creek - same thing.

The original movie also had a memorable mixture of tones. The scenes with Ernie Hudson are intentionally silly, the scenes with the little girl are sweet, the scenes with Michael Wincott and Bai Ling are bonkers, the scenes where Eric kills someone are exciting. And then there are flashbacks to a pretty graphic rape…

As long as the show belongs to the concept of “everything,” it’ll have Ayo Edebiri in it.

Hellen Killer: The Scaracle Worker.

You could copy-paste every conversation about Zack Snyder since 2005 and it would work. 

If there’s anywhere to take the moral high ground, it’s in the internet comments on a recap of responses to a documentary about child abuse. We're only five layers away from reality! 

Does that mean that in 25 years we can look forward to a shorter edit of Dune 3 with a much longer title? 

That was my first thought. “Audacious and dumb” tends to generate a lot of buzz. 

It’s just kind of sad, carrying the torch for something that’s gone and wasn't all that great to begin with. 

Of all the problems with a remake of the Crow, overnighting every shot isn’t one I expected.