The original recognitions hasn’t posted here in a very long time, but this bizarro troll account is still around.

Why is your user name a parody of someone who hasn’t posted here in years? 

In this analogy, she initiated the “strike” by declining to appear in the last movie, which means by definition she can’t be a “scab” for returning to work. Like the worst analogies, it's self-defeating. 

I like how the OP starts by saying that people need a real political education and then launches into several very confusing paragraphs about political assassination. 

In this assassination-driven scenario, why wouldn’t the President be assassinated? Historically that's been the most common event. 

Works for me. 

That’s because everyone knows how rabid sports fans fuck. Intoxicated and without consent.

The in universe logic is one of many issues that Stranger Things will have to deal with. I’m guessing they’ll also have to deal with all the people who can’t remember which season was the last one, what happened, and whether they even watched it. 

Yeah, I feel like “Boomer” refers to a conservative guy in his 50s or 60s, which is pretty much Gen X.

Perfect. No notes. 

The key difference is that the Empire Strikes Back is a tightly plotted 120 minutes, which the MCU hasn't been for years. 

I think the MCU is at the point (declining sales, convoluted plots) where comic books push the “continuity reset” button. If the recent versions of Batman are any indication, that’s a pretty  good way to make money. But also, if the recent versions of Batman are any indication, it’s a pretty good way to take your…

That was my takeaway from the whole article as well. But hey, we contain multitudes. 

The world is full of surprises. For example, I never expected to read the words “Jared Leto’s Tron sequel,” which is the tidiest possible summary of a movie I don’t want to see.

Yes. I mean no. No. 

“Spawn had John Leguizamo and Martin Sheen.” Exactly.

Mall goth never dies. 

Yeah, Brandon Lee’s cheekbones and jawline could support that level of pancake makeup. 

To be honest, I like the Joy Division original a teensy bit more - but that’s because the Nine Inch Nails version is incomplete without Brandon Lee hopping across rooftops in the rain.

That Cure song and Nine Inch Nails’ cover of Joy Division are all-timers. But when a movie has Michael Wincott, David Patrick Kelly, and Tony Todd, the soundtrack can’t be the absolute best thing.