What do you mean I amuse you? Do you think I’m a clown? Do I look funny to you?

The mistake is getting caught.

Just imagine if the following events happened during Obama and/or a hypothetical Clinton administration:

Try the new Nars Soft Matte concealer. It goes on like a dream, doesn’t feel heavy or crease and the color range brings me to tears of joy.

Try the new Nars Soft Matte concealer. It goes on like a dream, doesn’t feel heavy or crease and the color range…

So are we a host when we have a penis inside us? Does that penis belong to us while we are hosting it? Can we do with it whatever we want? Just asking.

Right? I had twins. It was hard to draw breath sometimes, let alone stand straight or even sit up straight. I mostly just wanted to curl up in a ball and gestate in peace.

Aside from being Adele’s third-best album, the Album of the Year award is supposed to “honor artistic achievement, technical proficiency and overall excellence in the recording industry, without regard to album sales or chart position.” This includes production, songwriting, structure etc; divorcing Lemonade from its…

It’s like I don’t even have the brain power to understand how a voice like this can come out of one person. It is HARD to sing live. It is HARD to stay on key, and as someone who also has had two humans growing in my belly for 8 months, its freaking hard to BREATHE with that many people in your womb pushing on your…

I’m so happy for Solange. For years it seemed like she struggled to find her voice (not her voice but I guess her niche?). Remember Solo Star and the Hadley St. Dreams? I always felt like Matthew pushed her to be more like Beyonce in her early career because that was more profitable and marketable in the 2000. But you…

There’s something about someone who can be equal parts articulate and foul mouthed that just makes my liver quiver and my knees give way.

Some thoughts:

I’ve never been a huge fan of her music, but godDAMN can that woman sing. I will never stop appreciating her raw talent. Most of the time, the biggest pop stars are manufactured and not actually that talented or skilled - just attractive with good producers and a mild ability to sing/play. But man, she’s just freakin’…

I know things are just looking like an endless cavalcade of bleakness lately, but it’s moments like this that have been giving me hope. Maybe one of the benefits of the fact that the left has been largely quiescent for so long is that people like Kalanick legitimately don’t know what to when we finally stand up. Maybe…

Yeah we’re all angry dude. But tarring and feathering the defectors isn’t going to win us any new allies. Better to show support when someone crosses that line so we can encourage others to do the same rather than see them quietly go along with their crowd.

I am not guilty about any of my pleasures.

Just from a purely practical perspective, how even in the fuck would these so called family members even know you were having an abortion? It’s totally possible to conceal a pregnancy into the second trimester, which I imagine you might well do if you suspected you were related to psychos who would sue you, so…

Dear Rep Andy Mayberry and Rep. Dave Sanders (and all the reps that voted for this),

As somebody who had to terminate around 20 weeks due to fetal abnormalities inconsistent with life, FUCK YOU, ARKANSAS.

The race to the bottom continues. Come move to the west coast everyone. It’s great, we have weed and tacos.