Good point. My grandpa always said to drink whisky at work, not vodka, so your boss knows you are a drunk, not an idiot.

You sit down and read your paper, and you’re enjoying your entire two-page comics spread. Right? And then there’s the Family fucking Circus, bottom right-hand corner, just waiting to suck. And that’s the last thing you read, so it spoils everything you read before it.

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They season it with the disappointed tears of their parents (aka “landlords”).

Getting mouthfuls of pure vodka that early in the morning is very unpleasant. That is why I always stir.

Just barely gone = great for toast with butter, jam, or peanut butter

The only proper to way to cook chicken is to buy a whole bird, break it down, use various parts in multiple meals, freeze the carcass until you have a couple of them, and then make chicken stock.