The Raptors got all the injury luck and only other teams’ stars were limited by injuries (notwithstanding Kawhi Leonard’s hamstrings becoming pulled pork and Kyle Lowry needing his thumb glued on before every game).

Good christ, fuck yourself

I get the point you’re making about goalies, but from January, St. Louis was the best team in the league by xGF%. Also, they were top-3 in terms of xGA. Binnington played great in front of a really, really good, defensive team.

This is just his default, given his scope.

Haha, yeah bro, nice! She’s dumb! Haha, tight! 

Now that Adam Silver has relabeled the players as the updated and zombified cast of Les Miserables, we are now viewing all 450 players as individual cries for help, and this psychoanalytic march toward the event horizon is the new way to parse your favorite team.

Simmonds is big, he’s tough, he can score, he can work the boards, and he’s a threat on the power-play

Andreas “Mango” Johnsson is a treasure, who has had such a shit ride in North America. He’s a 7th round pick who slipped that far because he’s tiny and also he had been playing with undiagnosed asthma. Came over to join the Leafs’s minor team, the Marlies, for their playoffs in 2015-16 and was immediately concussed…

Marleau finishes the check about a half-second after Haula gets rid of the puck. Watch the replay in the video you posted at 0:46. The puck is inches from Marleau’s stick, not “gone before he takes 2 strides.” 

I thought Velvet Buzzsaw was exactly “feel-good dumb”

The Islanders are firmly bottom half of the league in possession and expected goals metrics and they’re being buoyed by a league-leading (all situations) PDO on the backs of two historically replacement-level goaltenders, but yeah, they’ve averted disaster, I guess.

Yes, keep telling yourself Wilson is not an “ACTUAL” dirty player. It’s that guy on the Penguins who is dirty, actually!! 

Is it standard in this field to talk about the first people of the Americas as “colonizing” it? Kind of surprised by your use of it in the second sentence. 

“at least” 4 points in 2 games, huh? a good team would come away with 5. 

Might be a good time to remember that George Parros, the head of the NHL’s Department of Player Safety, has a clothing line called “Violent Gentlemen” that sells red, MAGA-style “Make Hockey Violent Again” hats.

The first acrobat, however, hit a double down the line.

Just so everyone’s clear, this seems to refer to GRANT BLANKENSHIP.