Wait wait wait. Hold on. Temecula already has a thing. We can’t have TWO highly insular Temecula jokes running around here at the same time.

13 year deal? This is such a dumb plan. So, in 2032, the Phillies plan to pay $15million to a 39 year old Harper, after the west coast gets washed out to sea in 2025 and the entire country is in the rubble of nuclear fallout?
Great plan, geniuses! 

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

Sometimes, it all works out innuendo.

What is the better part of a Natty Light 12 pack? The cardboard box?

Trump backed out of the deal in 2014 saying “Why would I pay hundreds of millions of dollars for an EJ Manuel?  Bob Kraft told me there is a place in South Florida that will do it for $100.”

I dunno...greater good, and all that. I’ll take one for the team if it means keeping Jimmy Haslam safely distracted from trying to, say, run for governor of Tennessee at some point.

Yeah. Shame about the country though.

This clash between dinosaurs was good enough for me.

Flat Irving Society is now in session

My brother recently claimed, with a straight face, that Irving was

a) the best point guard in the NBA
b) markedly better than Steph Curry, who my brother described as “a pretty good guard who is overrated because his team is so good.”

I will be e-mailing him this post every hour on the hour for the next week, and…

i was at the spectrum when kareem/l.a. was in town and the halftime retirement party, etc. they gave him so much stuff! like a harley, and home theater stuff. i looked at my mom and said, “he’s super rich, why the heck would we give him all this shit?”

Another season of regurgitated sentimentality for Dirk’s retirement tour is better than making a further 30 minutes of small talk on the station platform and train with a date you know you’ll never see again because you didn’t know you both live on the same line.

The clues are all there. He likes well done meat...he’s full of shit...are you Don, Jr.?

But why does the NCAA take all of the heat for what is (and soon will be what was) an NBA rule?

Lawyer here. The fact that police or the district attorney do not charge a thing does not mean such a thing did not occur, nor that they have no evidence whatsoever of such a thing occurring. It means they don’t think they have enough evidence to secure a conviction. Oftentimes this is because the way a statute is…

Perhaps a short story will make this clearer.

Maybe the happy ending will come easier if the two would just hug each other.

That’ll be a nice change of pace. Most of my dates are brewed with beers.

So you’re telling me...