There’s a 1974 episode of Adam-12 where Pete (Martin Milner) gets his new car, and you scream at the TV when you realize that he — the wiser, more experienced, unflappable half of the partners — used his maybe $16k annual LAPD salary to Buy. A. Fucking. Matador.

Go for one semester and take Sales 101.

Equivalent to Rosie and Ellen hosting shows devoted to being nice!

TV-watching me reads that as “Once released I will complete my transformation into a superior being determined to kill you all.”

It was 1986, and we were four of college students on Oahu, and this is what they rented to us. Loved it.

“Gears grinded by novice teens!” is not a reassuring selling point.

“Are you shitting my dick?” called out one audience member.

It’s like it’s at an awkward stage of evolution, trying to become a Ferrari but definitely not there yet.

Guess he’s not the kind of guy to drop the ball.

“The reality is, I’m rich! Bwah ha ha ha ha...”

There are enough loudmouthed idiots in Congress, not adding Palin’s demented nonsense to the mix is indeed a blessing.

It was hip to be square in the ‘80s!!!

“...Partner Track stars Ardon Cho as Ingrid...”

I love pics that show the car in its natural habitat — in this case the side of the road.

“When activated, the three screens up front play relaxing images as soothing ambient light and peaceful, spa-like sounds envelope the cabin. You can display a crackling fireplace or a soothing aquarium on the dashboard screens...”

A bit Gattaca.

The kind of car that would be driven by a bad guy or blown up in an episode of Vega$.

My OCD wishes they lined up better.

I think we already turned that point.

Surprised there’s not a bumper sticker that says “My Other Car is a Windowless Van.”