All that Buick is missing is a bowl of butterscotch candies.

Maybe just a publicity stunt for a new Mr. Bean movie?

If only Jeopardy! could handle its screw-up so tactfully.

When I was a wee lad I saw one of these zip down my town’s sleepy, very Americana Main Street and take a left at the traffic light just before yellow turned red. The rear end broke loose but quickly got back in line and off the little car went.

Olive.

Because when they throw them out the door there are too many witnesses.

Maybe not cool but SO simple and smart. I had an ‘80s Oldsmobile that chimed if the turn signal was left on too long. Every car should have that.

Or they just enjoy a pleasant Sunday drive with the wind through their hair.

To avoid the crusher they should peel off the HOV stickers and get them approved for golf courses.

“their Tesla was mistaking the full moon for a yellow traffic light”

My first car was a ‘72 coupe, then I inherited an ‘83 sedan, then I bought an ‘87 Ciera GT. What was wrong with them? Nothing. Solid and reliable, and the ‘80s versions were comfortable with a hint of luxury. Remember, this was a time when buying a European or Japanese car was still somewhat unusual. They were nicer…

Because everyone would use the tether to strangle the reclining passenger in front of them, obviously.

The Caddy That Kills.™

At least women are being represented.

I’m sure it will be welcomed in towns everywhere what with it sounding like a dozen leaf blowers.

Speaking of lowballers, I’m surprised this thing doesn’t have a set of Truck Nutz hanging from it to complete its truly stunning Royal Flush of tasteless modifications.

Those accents. If they don’t win an Oscar sounds like they’ll blame it on moose and squirrel.

A small dealership just opened near my girlfriend’s house (CA) and that’s what we thought — “who buys Mitsubishis?” The lot is filled with those things pictured above and signs advertising the price of a base Mirage ($13,995, maybe? Which is pretty low). I’ve got nothing against the company, it’s got quite a history,…