Cue DJT to push for Ivanka’s mug to grace not the tail end of a lowly quarter, but his latest idea, the Gazillion Dollar Bill.

Sounds like a story Big Electric would sponsor.

Your mother is a great lesson for people of any age—take the leap, don’t give into doubt and fear and the “But what if”s...” It’s true for business, for relationships, for just about everything. We’re only on this earth for so long, just shut up and do it. Way to go, Molly’s mom!

I want to say yes but it’s telling me no!

It’s soap...with a handle.

That’s some Wile E. Coyote-level imagery there.

Wow, that’s like Dumb & Dumber-level material. “Yeah, twitter, you’ll see!!!”

With the proper headgear those semis bounce right off!

I actually like black wheels on white and silver cars. It’s the uninviting abyss of black interiors that’s a hard no for me.

Just a driver’s license and a sense of adventure

Feel free to borrow my apartment end-of-lease exit strategy where I fill unsightly holes with toothpaste. The science should translate flawlessly here!

Soon to be on Craigslist for $500K. “I know what I have!”

The lack of logic here is astounding.

The lack of color is apocalyptic.

To be fair, she only wants natural things in her body. Like breast implants.

I only asked you to look into it, Larry. And isn’t your lunch break over?

Yeah, I was really expecting some kind of outlier. “It doesn’t drive like a go-cart, but...”

This guy is SUCH an asshole. “Look at me, I’m owning the libs!” And a 1/6/21 seditionist to boot.

A ‘74 was my ‘80s high school car until I bent the axel and sold it for...$800, maybe? If I knew I could get this kind of money for it now it would be that thing in my parents’ garage “you need to do something about.”

I run mine through the dishwasher now and then.