If you rearrange the letters and leave out a lot of them and add an extra W, it says “I played for Washington in game two.”

That’s exactly what someone impersonating his twin brother on an NBA playoff team would say.

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

but honestly, this man worked his dick off to get a spot.

A lot of people say the crucifix was in, but I think he nailed it. And yet the double-A Binghamton Mets fans are screaming GIVE US BARABBAS (Antonio Barabbas, young Dominican shortstop prospect).

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

Also, the issue with Clinton was she didn’t want to release the transcripts of her boring, banal speeches. What disgusts Americans about Clinton is her secrecy not that she talked to Wall Street.  Obamas speech will be part of a public forum on healthcare; his signature legislative achievement. He’s doing other stuff…

Yep. As much as people rush to praise Carter’s post-presidency, nobody defends him as a good, effective president, and that’s probably not changing until after his death (if even then.)

You’re right. Carter has been the model ex-president, accumulated a fortune through writing prolifically rather than speechifying for bankers. That’s true. But the party never forgave him for losing reelection as an incumbent. Those are two different things.

:furiously searches for “Quasar Funk” in an Obama remarks transcript database:

Well, we did have one president who made it his life’s mission to help those less fortunate after leaving office. His own party regards him as an imbecile.

See, we’re not racist. Some of our best players are black.

I’d go:

It’s insane that Thomas went 60th out of 60 in the 2011 draft. If you redid it today, it’d go:

I’ve never had a sexual experience that would qualify as a full-fledged event. Maybe a time trial here and there.

I can’t decided which one I love more: that trading Porzingis and parts for Howard leads to 3 more wins for the Knicks, or that it leads to two more losses for the Hawks.

I’m a lapsed Knicks fan but come on man that’s mean.

Not sure how he’d fit into the triangle offense, but he definitely has potential as a key player in the ongoing and irrevocable destruction of Phil Jackson’s legacy.