If I remember correctly, the official motto of NoVA goes something like: “At least we aren’t those backwards-ass hillbillies from the town directly south of us.”

“...in the suburban hell of Woodbridge, Va.”

Good god, that head height to total height ratio is absolutely incredible.

Yeah, so I know you SAY you don’t like anime or whatever, but you should really watch Akira before you...

I can’t pick. Prospector was great. Opening sequence was bonkers. Meal Ticket had my wife and I screaming at each other. Just fantastic stuff. 

THAT’S your Buster Skruggs vignette ranking?

In this vein, my ideal strategy would be to lay low in South America and drink beer until this awful game comes to an end.

I’ve heard of them, but never seen them in the wild. And I’d be too scared to do exactly what you said happened to you.

Those brown rye chip things you find in Chex Mix are hands down the most excellent of all the chips. And yes, I’m the guy who picks them out of the bowl and leaves you with the refuse.

As an Atlantan, this really is just unforgivable. Where is your city pride? Where is your human decency?

This is fake. Not a single one of this comments begins with “I’m not racist, but...”

No apologies necessary. I just always smile when my Yankee cousins compare something of theirs to “The Deep South”. Of course every corner of this country has its economically depressed parts, but down here there’s just a very unique blend of impeccable manners and jaw-droppingly casual and overt racism that you just…

You two are adorable. Sincerely, Atlanta.

But... but all his rowdy friends!

Oh, go watch another Jeff Dunham special and leave us alone.

Probably that William J. LePetomane asshole. What’ll he think of next?

A whole pound? I hope the colostomy was a success.

I’ll pray for your butt. Maybe once every three years or so.

I did that all the time as a little-leaguer. Then one day, for whatever reason, I got my hands on a bag of seeds with particularly hardy shells. They traversed my innards unscathed and I ended up passing a bat wrapped in barbed wire. I’m a pumpkin seed guy now.

A twenty-something yard chip shot blocked at the line is absolutely the kicker’s fault. And fuck the Jets’ secondary.