At the end of his gasp, I was expecting some type of CSI: Miami-esque lead-in. An obnoxiously loud scream accompanied by a guitar riff would've added some panache to the whole thing.

If only that dog from The Artist had been outside the house instead. He probably could've dialed 9-1-1 himself, as well as gather initial forensic evidence.

Oh, well fair enough. I did see that trailer. Can't say that I was enamored with it, and I know a lot of people don't like Kevin Hart. I still am excited for the movie though. To each their own.

Do you mean this one? https://www.youtube.com/wat… I'll admit that the "come hear Shakira's new single!" tie-in isn't great, but it still looks entertaining to me. Keep in mind we're also discussing upcoming animated movies in the context of the piddly-shit slogfests that typically come creeping out of animation…

The real question is, which show tunes will he be singing?

Let's see if the new NPH show stays in that vein by utilizing a shrill, obnoxious main character, as well as a ridiculous level of jump cuts. Oh, and hashtags.

Well that's good at least.

I have spent my whole life scared. I'm just a chicken. Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep.

I'd say it's a tie between Vikings fans and post-season two Rick in terms of sadness levels.

With the announcement that Antonio Brown has been ruled out of the Broncos game, I'd say Pacman Jones needs a Subway-level rebranding after the shit he was saying. "He was faking, I saw him wink at me." Yeah buddy, keep saying that and see if it sticks.

Thanks, I checked it out a bit earlier. While I am a big Winding Refn and Gosling fan (and loved "Drive"), I found "Only God Forgives" to be incomprehensible. I didn't exactly hate it, I just found it almost opaque in trying to communicate whatever message or themes were originally intended. If you watch that…

The sequel would be the gathering at my friend's house a few months back, where he drunkenly chose "The Cobbler" from his Netflix queue. I can still hear the screams.

Throw in a nihilistic Tom Hardy monologue about there being no God, and they'll be in stitches!

I mean, no one's saying it's gonna be the next "Finding Nemo." But I'd say with crap like what we've been discussing here, "Zootopia" is probably our best bet. At least until "The Secret Life of Pets," which looks pretty awesome even from the teaser.

I don't know the exact numbers, but I'd venture a guess that with the advent of more complex (using the term very loosely) mobile games like "Clash of Clans," less people are playing it now.

That's a great quote, but my go-to for reviews of bad movies will always be David Edelstein's thoughts on "Only God Forgives."

"Angry Birds" looks just plain awful, almost like they're trying to cash in on a franchise by phoning in a script (which never happens, I know). Haven't heard of "Monkey Up." Agree that "Zootopia" looks pretty good though. Jason Bateman's voice can be unexpectedly soothing.

Putting the bear from "The Revenant" in it might have made things more enjoyable. And by "it," I mean the production studio.

You don't even wanna know what Matthew Rhys thinks about those guys…

I thought that stuff gets delegated to the Head of Tits. Or is that HBO?