Regardless of what your mother says; you’re alright.

It’s great to have you back from retirement.

LeBron is such a respectable person. I’m so glad little kids look up to positive role models like him.

Never forget

“he’s got a horseshoe mustache, a filthy mouth, and a deep, abiding disdain for nerds.”

A Schiano man never takes the elevator.

Stick around for awhile.

To be fair good cooks/chefs are trained to use parts of their arm to quickly figure out what temperature the meat is without using a thermometer.

University of the Incarnate Word?

You’re the hero we all deserve.

“We’ve looked at different models, but I think that’s the one that makes the most sense.”

That’s nice.

The fact that Alicia Vikander is getting a nomination in a movie not named Ex Machina is a shame. That movie got shafted at the awards this year :(

Hate to be that guy but you have Janeiro spelled Jaineiro in the first sentence.

I’m glad you mentioned the part about younger Deadspin staffers who didn’t live through this. As a 25 year old I was very young and know little about the details involved with this revolutionary case. I’m drawn in not just by the story but the fantastic acting, directing and the feel of the early 90's that they…

Ah yes, let’s not forget that Kevin couldn’t possibly be a human being with empathy to a coach and his family he’s known for years when their wife/mother dies tragically.

-1 problem wide receiver

Comes with a free blanket of pepperoni!

@sonofbum is the greatest twitter handle.

Example