There’s obviously different things going on under Magic’s and Embiid’s tables.

Rooting for the C’s to pick Ball and have his dad stonewall the deal

He’s never been IN the black either.

Tomasula had similar language in his contract that voided his deal if he didn’t keep the parking lots clean of loose debris.

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

Even if the cost of living in Chicago isn’t quite at NY/LA/SF level unaffordable, the salaries displayed in that photo are impossibly low for people with 15 -39 years professional experience. They must all have to moonlight at other jobs to make ends meet.

The evolution of the Garbage Truck ;)

Oh, you poor man. Watching Revis get a ring with NE must have killed you.

“Part of what drove him to sudden stardom was his status as the greatest-ever Asian-American basketball player” Yao Ming?

How fucked are you in the head to be Putin and take part and not be pissed that everyone is not trying around you? Like that’s a serious pathological issue, right? Because while I also suck ass at sports, if I was in the same position, I would be PISSED that no one was trying.

- Long title drought recently ended.

Props to him for both graduating and being woke enough to be self-deprecating. The latter is sorely lacking in pro sports, in the long run it may even get him farther than his degree.

That’s weird, Derrick Rose just tweeted Shady Acres Outpatient Rehabilitation Center followed by four knee brace emojis.

“Damn. Clippers getting hacked was kinda my thing.”

Or as the Wilpons call it, a Bernie Madoff bobblehead.

Disclosure: The author of this piece has been provided Gordon Beckham’s used footwear by the Chicago White Sox. His opinions are his own.

This may be insensitive, but Savage Garden?

I feel like you’re burying the “Aaron Hernandez quoted Savage Garden in his suicide note” lede here.