If your humor wasn’t so edgy you could have been invited to do a stand-up routine at Trumps coronation.

Fuck no. I’d rather gouge my eyes.

And we’ll say, “We keep telling you: the bunker doesn’t need a political blogger. Go scavenge for food.”

I don’t want to be out of my wits when “they” descend upon us.

My wife and I live in a rural area - the vistas are sufficient so I guess the slow death provided by Trump’s BFF will suffice. I knew I should have stockpiled more Glenmorangie. Cheers to you.

Any tips on how to avoid it? I’m asking for a friend.

NO.

Klay should really be ashamed. After all, he’s on the Warriors. He has to expect that at any given time, at least one of his teammates is going to be out on the court kicking balls.

Well, shit....you can’t blame Klay.

She’s an intelligent person who has spent the majority of her adult life in public service. In terms of virtue and decency, she wouldn’t have much competition from the vast majority of former presidents, low a bar as that might be.

I voted for Clinton and I am a paragon of virtue and human decency.

I don’t disagree with any of those things, but it’s like comparing your least favorite ice cream with a waffle cone full of bloody diarrhea. You might not like either one, but there’s a clear right choice.

I don’t think any reasonable person doubts that those things would be far less likely under Clinton.

My expectations and hopes are unbelievably low. I’ll actually consider the next four years a success if there are no nuclear weapons deployed and no significant land wars. I’m assuming that the economy, the social safety net, and basic human decency are already doomed.

These are the puns we deserve.

What’s wrong with serving whales? I thought they were obligated to serve anyone who walked through their door?

I doubt this. Pretty sure Phil’s against the three.

“He proposed on Christmas Day 2012.”

Phil doesn’t have room on his fingers for any more rings.